Roll Up The Partition Please: Beyonce’s Self Titled Album Ranked From Thotty To Wholesome

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Beyonce said it herself, she changed the game when that digital dropped. On December 13, 2013, Queen Bey released her fifth solo album, Beyonce. The visual album, which premiered as an iTunes exclusive, featured 14 brand new songs and 14 music videos. It was a complete surprise to Beyonce fans who not only did not know she was working on new music and videos but were also watching Beyonce in concert at The Mrs. Carter Show when the album dropped.

It was around midnight when fans noticed a Beyonce album banner had taken over iTunes. There it was, a black album cover with nothing but the name “Beyonce” in pink text. Who knew that one word, one album, could change the music industry as we know it.

On this day, Beyonce proved that she was successfully able to shoot 14 music videos and keep it completely under wraps, despite involving the public in many of her videos. She was able to drop an album as an iTunes exclusive without promotion and without leaks and still sell over 800,000 units in just three short days. No one has been able to duplicate what Beyonce managed to do with that album. In fact, it’s because of Beyonce that album releases are now on Fridays rather than Tuesdays.

This album was also a defining moment for Beyonce. It was her first post-Blue Ivy album and the first time she openly and unapologetically let her ratchet freak flag fly. To celebrate the five year anniversary of such an iconic piece of work, we rank Beyonce’s album from freaky deaky to squeaky clean.

Starting with our most freaky

1. Partition (Yonce)

By itself, “Yonce” wouldn’t be #1 on our list of freakiest songs on Beyonce but with the addition of “Partition”, it turns it up a notch. “Partition” is a thotty’s dream! It’s full of innuendos about car sex, fellatio and is probably Beyonce in her most risque form. She even threw in some freaky french. Yessss Bey!

Hit the flip for more.

2. Blow

Blow deserves to be towards the top of this list. It’s full of sexual innuendos and its name alone is a double entendre. Plus, Beyonce was looking scrumptious in this video.

3. Drunk In Love

Beyonce and Jay Z tag teamed us with a ton of freakiness with “Drunk In Love” and we were not ready! Just imagining Beyonce being lusty was enough but when she hit us with the video of her all dripping wet on the beach? Ok, Bey! We hear you!

4. Rocket

“Rocket” is more sensual than it is freaky and for that, we can’t rank it as high on the thot-o-meter. It’s definitely an amazing song to make a baby to, though.

5. No Angel

When Beyonce hit that falsetto and said “You’re no angel either” we felt that!

6. Jealous

7. Haunted

This video was freaky in a creepy kind of way. Definitely not the thotty way.

8. ***Flawless

There’s something sexy about being confident and we must admit, those shorts Beyonce wore in the video are sexy too, but not thotty.

9. Superpower

Beyonce was in her feminist bag with this one. She looked amazing but thotty was not the goal for this one!

10. Mine

This song is all about commitment and Beyonce is dressed like the Virgin Mary. Need we say more?

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11. XO

This is the part of the list where we get into wholesome Bey. From here on out, absolutely no sign of thotty Bey exists.

12. Pretty Hurts

13. Heaven

This song is more for funerals than for the freaks. Wholesome Bey is in full effect.

14. Blue

A song for your first born. Wholesome at it’s finest.